Today as I sat down to write my care plan I turned on my music to make the unpleasant task a little less laborious. I’ve been listening to a number of the same artists pretty consistently these days, and felt ready for a little change so I hit my shuffle button on my whole music library and just let it go. As the first song came on my breath caught in my throat as emotion overwhelmed me at the very first chord. It threw me back into the past so vividly that, for a moment, I felt as if I was back experiencing the day all over again. This particular song was one that carried a significant amount of grief and the memory of it spread through my unprotected self before I even had a chance to process what I was hearing. I recovered quickly, but that moment was indeed so overwhelming that I had to just sit there for a moment and take it all in. This happens to me all the time. The best and worst days of my life seem to be tied to songs. I love this fact. It seems weird to think that I enjoy songs that evoke intense negative emotion, but imagine that I get to experience the highs all over again as well. Music takes me back in a way that is so much more real than any other memories. It gives me not just bits and pieces but vivid pictures and even more vivid feelings. And with those feelings I get to recognize how much work God has done in me and my life in the time since “Down on Bended Knee” or “Ants Marching” or “Better Together”.
I had to take a learning style assessment at the beginning of school this year and it said I had a musical memory. The recommendation was to listen to music while studying, or place the things I need to memorize to some sort of musical tone. But I wonder if it might be a little bit closer to the truth to say I have an emotional memory and music just tends to catch that better than highlighters or colored tabs. I can’t say I know for sure as far as the whole learning stlye is concerned but I do know that the very nature of music is emotional and the moments that have shaped me most have always been matters of not just the mind, but also of the heart. To me it makes sense that something beyond words would be necessary to capture them so fully. Maybe someday I’ll put together the soundtrack of my life….what songs would be on yours?
Oh I know exactly what you mean. I have a slew of songs that evoke emotions for me. And take me to another time. Steve Winwood Higher Love is one, and a funny song called “One” by the Beegees that came out just as Dad and I got engaged. I could go on and on, but the treadmill is calling me. Hope today’s song is a happy one!
Hmm. Good thoughts. I am a rather musical emotional memory person too.
For example, the song “Good Riddance” by Green Day makes me choke up instantly. Every time. And then “Can’t Fight This Feeling” by Reo Speedwagon (haha) makes me instantly giddy (because it was playing a Taco Time I stopped at on my way to Washington just before Andrew and I started dating). And “I must go” by Late Tuesday makes me feel that weird transitional ache of graduation all over again.
And that’s why I love music.