Moving out of my parents’ house…some more

I’m back at my parents house; for the week anyway.  Just a quick visit home since I have no idea when I’ll be able to make it out again with the new job.  The thought of two to three weeks of vacation a year feels like a choke collar on my wandering spirit.  I guess thats one of those transition-to-adulthood things that the youth in me rebels against.  (That and having to make phone calls to insurance companies).  I probably shouldn’t complain since nursing offers me a lot more flexibility with scheduling than most jobs, but to realize I’ll never again get a summer vacation is something to grieve. 

But alas, I’m here and still living in the land of vacation, so we’ll save that thought for another day.  I spent a big chunk of my time today going through my old things.  As I took all but a few boxes of notes and old high school formals out of my closet, it was somewhat bittersweet.  With each trip back here, each round of picking through my old things,  this place seems less and less like my home and more and more like my parents.  The piles of stuff I leave behind get smaller, as do the piles of things I decide to take.  And now there is so little left that in the place I once lived, I feel silly even calling the place I’m sleeping in “my room”… it’s not really.  I mean, I’ll always be welcome there, but it’s no longer my pictures that grace the walls.  The sheets and blankets on my bed are not my own.  I am the visitor.  That comes with a twinge of sadness, but really just a twinge.  I think surprise was the more overwhelming feeling  ”I grew up!  Huh, when did that happen?”  Slowly I guess; over the 6 years that have passed since i left this place for the first time.  Today felt like the closure to a chapter I’ve been in for awhile. 

After clearing out my closet, I turned to my bookshelves, flipping through old high school yearbooks, photo albums, reports, anthologies and found myself wrapped in nostalgia.  The happy kind that comes with the flooding back of memories of friends and events from good times past.  I’ve never been the “don’t you wish you could go back??”-type, but it made me happy to be home.  There are so many good feelings, good memories I associate with this place.  I guess that’s how home should be, but I know for many it isn’t.  I know that it’s a great gift to be given.  The sifting through of high school memories left me missing people I haven’t seen in ages.  I called Becca, my best friend from high school and we reminisced some about our prior lives and shared those few details about where we are now.  While it’s impossible to really get into each others lives with a quick catch-up call, we found ourselves on common ground; both on the East Coast, committed to jobs and friends, but missing the West Coast in a way that leaves little doubt we’ll end up back here at some point.  As Becca put it, “Not a matter of if, but when…” 

And once again I find myself wondering when.  I’m annoyed with how much time my mind spends on that question.  I wish “not now” would be enough to satisfy.  I smell the evergreens and see the mountains and I think “SOON,” but then I think of my people in Philly and I think…”not too soon.”

A long time gone

So it’s been a couple of months since I’ve posted. Long enough that most of you have probably quit checking it and only those of you who still have me on your rss feeds will ever see it. But that’s ok, since I mostly write this for me. There is no profound or significant reason for my severe neglect of this blog, other than I’ve been out living life. Between friends, school, and some pretty great summer weather, I’ve had much more desire to be out doing things than sitting at home thinking about them.

But now I’m on vacation, visiting my sister in Bend, and for the first time in awhile I actually have completely free time. Jamie is at work and as I sit in the sunshine and breath deeply of the cool, fresh air, I find myself in a thoughtful mood. One that was probably just waiting in the wings until I had enough free space in my life to let it slip in. With all the transitions that are happening in this season of my life it seems the perfect kind of mood to be in. Quiet, mellow, relaxed, and wondering what this next year carries. Many changes that’s for sure. I’m a nurse now, though still not at the point where I really feel like I can say that. Maybe after I actually start working it will be a little easier. I guess that’s really only a matter of weeks. But for now, I’m simply being. And it’s great!

It’s good to be back on the West Coast. While part of my sense of peace is likely due to the fact that I slept a good 12 hours (!) last night and woke up to a delightful cup of French Press coffee, homemade pumpkin bread, and the company of my sweet sister, there is something about being surrounded my mountains and evergreens that just causes my soul to stretch out. I am at home here. Which gets me thinking about me and my collection of homes. Philadelphia has no doubt become one of them, and one that I love, but the West will always be the home of my heart I think.

Bend is beautiful. I arrived last night to Jamie and Jon’s cute house and we grilled out with their roommates John and Stacy. It was a truly Oregon experience with Ben, Dave and the crickets playing in the background, a selection of microbrews on the table (including Jon’s very own), and the cool night breeze coming through. We then took a stroll through town, down along the Deschutes River as the sun was setting. It is amazing here. The town in full of restaurants, galleries, breweries and cafes. It’s surrounded by mountains, trails, and every outdoor activity imaginable. Yes, I’m feeling a little bit in love Ok, Jamie’s home and we’re making dinner for 12, so I gotta run. But hey, I’m back!

Bolivia

My friend Justin flew out on Monday with a group from Eastern University to do mission work in Bolivia for a month.  We had some fun practicing Spanish before he left  :-)  If you have a heart for missions, South America, or health services, you can join me in praying for them.  Here’s the link to a blog following their trip and detailing their prayer requests:

http://eubolivia.blogspot.com/ 

Praise God for those willing to be his hands and feet in this world!

A Trip to the Shore

The weather around here has been great and I thought with time off and temperatures high, a trip to the shore would definitely be nice.  I spread the word to other friends who were in between school and work, or off for other reasons, and five of us drove out to the coast yesterday.  It proved to be a great time!  While it was a bit windy, the sun was shining and the beach was almost all ours.  We laid around and picknicked in Margate, then decided to walk to Atlantic City since it didn’t appear to be too far off.  As it turned out it was about a 5 or 6 mile walk, which along the shore was fantastic.  It was a great time to take some deep breaths, enjoy some good conversation, and of course, the ever-relaxing sound of crashing waves.  Oh, how sweet.

Here’s some pics from our day:

Beach Fun

Livin’ the Life

As I sit here and right this, I am beyond relaxed. I’ve got some classical guitar music playing, the wind blowing in a nice breeze and I’m more rested than I’ve been in quite some time. I am officially vacationing and it rocks my world. I have a couple weeks off before summer semester starts and am feeling glad about my decision to spend it here in PA. I had played with the idea of a trip, but with funds low and the desire to chill high, decided against it.
School ended well. It was a highly sleep deprived couple of weeks, but I truly enjoyed my leadership clinical. For the first time in nursing school I was given the chance to take on a full patient load and really be in charge of all nursing care. The nurses precepting me were great and really stepped back to allow me the fullest experience possible. I directed my nurse rather than her directing me and had residents asking for my opinion about patients. It was a bit daunting and at times incredibly humbling, but the nurses I worked with were great and the kids, even better. I’m feeling more confident about my ability to do this job, and even more assured that pediatrics is where I belong.

During the middle of my leadership clinical I was graced by a visit from my super fun grandparents. We managed to pack a lot of fun into the weekend I spent with them including visits to Valley Forge, Villanova, St. Christopher’s, and touring around Philadelphia. We had dinner with a bunch of friends and it was great to be able to share a lot of my world with them. On Saturday we took a trip to the Italian Market and I am officially in love. TONS of fresh fruits, veggies, and herbs for amazing prices, accompanied by an array of specialty shops selling pastas, cheeses, meats, etc. The mix of sights, smells, and people left me somewhat nostalgic for the outdoor mercados of Latin America. That day was followed up with a dinner party at Kasey’s were a bunch of my friends came to hang out and meet Grammy and Poppa. I love the fact that my 20-something friends jumped on the opportunity to hang out with my grandparents. And even more that the conversations were flowing all night long! We’re all hoping we can be that cool when we’re grandparents

To check out some of the pics from the time with Grammy and Poppa, click on the link below:

Grammy and Poppa!

Finishing the semester and feeling blessed

Usually I find myself counting the days til the end of a semester. Being that I CAN’T EVEN WAIT to be done with school and move into the city, I thought I would be doing the same with this one. Yet somehow the whole Texas trip kept me from noticing that the end of the semester was just behind the corner. It seems like I just realized it was finals week, and I took my last exam today! While it made for a the cram session of my life yesterday, it is feeling fantastic now. Like ripping off a band aid, painful, but over almost before I even knew what was going on.

Now I will be spending my next week and a half on the hematology floor at CHOP doing my leadership clinical. While I’m not that excited about two weeks of getting up at 5:30, I am looking forward to being back in peds and experiencing what is it to have a full patient load. Plus, it means I’ll be in the city where I can hang out with my seriously great friends.

God has brought some truly incredible people into my life in the past months, and I am admittedly blown away by it. I’ve laughed myself to tears more times than I can count, and am experiencing true community in a way that is both deep and lighthearted. When I look at the fact that I’ve only known some of these people for a month or two I almost can’t believe it. We are so comfortable and it just came together so naturally. I can’t really explain it, other than to say that God has done some sweet work and we are reaping the benefits It’s not just in new relationships that I’m finding community, but in the deepening of already existing friendships. I spent yesterday evening studying with my friend Heather, who has just been such a blessing to me. Have you ever met someone and the moment you started talking realized you just had so much to learn from them? Well, we both feel that way about each other and it has been awesome to see the way God is using us in each other’s life. So many of her strengths are things that I struggle with and visa versa and it has been so encouraging to learn from her and at the same time be made aware of the gifts I have been given. I love how we can be used to encourage one another and build each other up!

I’m feeling God’s providence around every corner and basking in the newness of spring (albeit, basking with an allergic wheeze!). The trees have gone from bare to green, flowers are blossoming in vibrant colors and renewal is all around me. My love for the city is growing and I can hardly wait to be part of the all the building up that is taking place in Philadelphia.

Home Sweet Home

I love that I get excited about coming home. It reminds me how quickly I’ve become enmeshed in this place. Still it was somewhat bittersweet leaving. Our trip to Texas was such a wonderful experience. I’m still in awe as I look at how much we managed to pack into each day of our adventure. Tuesday evening I saw a birth. To say I “saw” it is a little bit of an understatement. In reality, I experienced it with much more than just my visual sense, as the mother’s right arm was wrapped around my own, pulling me strongly with each contraction. Between I wiped her brow, and offered encouragement. It was as miraculous as the first birth I experienced back at Jefferson, but this time I didn’t find myself with tears streaming down…probably because I was too busy counteracting the force of her strength pulling my body forward! It was the 5th baby of the mother delivering and she was great about letting us be involved. She spoke only Spanish, so I found myself translating some for Liz, which proved pretty easy since pretty much the only things being said were, “Ya no mas! (Enough already!)” “No puedo! (I can’t)” and “Si puedes (Yes you can)” throughout the majority of the laboring process. The “si puedes” proved right and she had an adorable 8lb 14oz baby boy. The family was asking if anyone had a camera becuase they really wanted some pictures, which worked out fantastically for me, since that’s kind of an awkward time to ask if it would be ok to take a couple pictures! I have them posted in a private album to protect their privacy somewhat (they gave me permission, but to post them publicly seems a little disrespectful), so if you want to see them, let me know. After the delivery we were able to help with postpartum care of the mother and child. The setting was so mellow and relaxed compared to the hospital, with the lights low and the baby and mother remaining together. Since our delivery occurred at night, we slipped back home for a few hours sleep before having to get up again and do our discharge teaching. Most women here go home within 6-8hrs after their birth, which pretty much blows my mind. They have the option to stay up to 24, but most want to get back to homes and families. After sending home mom and baby, we came back for a showers and lunch then headed to an afternoon postpartum clinic. Most of the patients were 6weeks out, with very cute babies! We took care of some adorable twins and gave a mess of 2 month shots to another patient. Doing assessments on the little guys got me excited for working in peds!

Thursday included some more prenatal clinic hours and then a trip to South Padre Island. It was just over an hour’s drive and my first experience in the Gulf of Mexico. It was gorgeous and warm, with rolling waves and a cool breeze. The weather felt perfect. But evidently the sun was MUCH stronger than it felt because I am totally toasted. Aloe, fans, and loose fitting clothing have become my new best friends. We ended out last day with a night out doing karaoke, then left at 3:30 am for the airport. The singing was a blast, especially picking trashy country songs to sing in our cowboy hats with our literally rednecks. Well worth the fact we barely slept at all The trip home proved a little long with some unexpected layovers, but we made it! I’m excited to sleep in my own bed tonight. Less excited about the final I have to take tomorrow (yeah, on a Saturday, what the heck!?). I should probably go study for that. Or sleep sounds good. Either way, g’night!

Fiestas, Mexico, and Home Visits

Before we left for Texas, there was an insane amount of prep work we were required to do. So much so, that most of us were saying had we known what was involved, we wouldn’t have have signed on. After a few days down here, we’ve changed our minds. The experience so far has been fantastic. We are getting opportunities to participate in a variety of different facets of care, and yet the pace is just slower and so much more relaxed. It seems almost impossible for us to get too stressed around here with the summery weather, lack of external obligations, and abundance of great company. We do have an exam we have to take before we leave here and finals waiting when we get back, but even that hasn’t seemed to put a damper on my mood. Yesterday was Sunday, a day that is usually one without work down here at Holy Family. But we happened to come the weekend of their annual anniversary celebration and yesterday was the party. The event was open to anyone born here at the birth center, which it seems is a number of people! There were carnival games, pony and tractor rides, pinatas, prizes, food, and music. We spent the morning blowing up 600 helium balloons to hand out to the kids. In the afternoon we took turns manning some of ther different stations. The billions of kids running around were adorable! After we finished our work, we went out for some authentic Mexican food, which made my heart happy.  We had serveral laugh to tears moments around the meal and it was a truly good time.

Today there was only one patient in the morning clinic, so we decided to take advantage of the time and made a quick trip to Mexico. We basically went from our border town to their border town, but I can finally say as a Spanish speaking Californian that I’ve been to Mexico! We spent a couple hours browsing the tables and booths full of trinkets, and jewelry and things. It was great fun to bargain and I was so excited to find pure vanilla extract in large bottles for 95 cents! Score! I’m digging all the opportunities to use my Spanish down here and it’s not feeling quite so rusty anymore. After we had all bought our share of souvenirs and Mexican silver, we headed back to Weslaco. We grabbed a quick lunch, then Liz and I changed and headed out for a home visit. The nurse we accompanied was fantastic, explaining everything, letting us do as much as possible, and answering all our questions on the way home. We got ridiculously lost on our way there, as the name on the map and the name on the street didn’t quite match (and by that I mean they were in no way similar). An hour and a half after leaving we finally arrived at our final destination. The family we visited was great, and pictures of our visit will be coming! For now, it’s time for sleep and some sweet dreamin’. Goodnight!

Day 2

Today was a very good day. I am so relaxed here, I have to keep reminding myself that I am not on vacation and my downtime has to include some studying. I slept like a baby last night and woke up to sunshine, the sound of birds chirping, and a cool breeze coming through my open window. We were scheduled to teach the “English version” breastfeeding class this morning, but a last minute cancellation by the “Spanish version” teacher led us to a roomful of Mexican women. I pulled out my slighty rusty Spanish and let the translator take over where my medical terminology ended. Only two of the six of us speak Spanish, and as it was, I ended up playing translator back to English for some of my classmates. It was great to realize my comprehension is still there, and I can still have conversations even if my grammar is somewhat below par. After our class we had an amazing lunch cooked by one of the midwives. It included one of the first tofu dishes that I’ve genuinely liked and not just tolerated, and was so fresh and summery! From there we split up and half of us headed into the clinic to help with prenatal and postpartum check-ups. The clinic is run completely by nurses and midwifes, many of whom are students and fellows who have come to do service for periods of weeks to years. It didn’t take long for them to realize I spoke decent Spanish and I was hooked up with a midwife who spoke almost none. It is so great to be in this environment of love, service, health care, and Latin American culture. It has me thinking about Peru a lot and remembering how much I love public health and clinic work. After a great afternoon in the clinic, we came back to hang out around the house. Liz had brought a Pilate’s DVD so we spread out all over the floor for a very entertaining fitness endeavor The rest of the night was spent talking, studying, laughing, cooking and eating together. I’ve posted a mess of pictures (probably WAY more than you’re interested in looking at) on my Flickr page, so if you’re looking for a good way to waste some time, feel free to check them out.

I’m including my favorite one of the day. My friends and I like to play the “scenario game,” where we make up situations, then take pictures of the emotions and responses they evoke. We managed to get both of our profs involved, which was awesome. One created the scenario and the other acted it out with us…any guesses on what it was?

Arriving in Texas

I’m writing today from the Holy Family Services Birth Center in Weslaco, Texas. It’s kind of crazy to realize that I’m here already. Between work, school, and processing my way through job options, the last few days have been somewhat of a blur, and this trip kind of snuck up on me. After staying up late packing, I slept for an hour and a half before my alarm went off at 2AM this morning and I showered, dressed and headed to campus. From there, we traveled to the airport to catch our pre-crack-of-dawn flight. Thanks to online booking and seat selection I scored emergency exit seats on both planes and had a mostly comfortable and leg-roomy flight. After a morning of travel and a stopover in Houston, we arrived in Harlingen, Texas, picked up our sweet Suburban, and drove to our final destination in Weslaco. We’re staying at a house on the property of Holy Family and with the warm weather and people speaking Spanish all around me, I feel quite at home. After warnings of how bare bones our accommodations were going to be I was surprised to find that while this place is simple, it is clean and pretty well-equipped. I think volunteering in South America has definitely changed my definitions of “poor” and “in need of renovation!”

The weather here alone is warming my soul. We have all the windows open and a cool breeze is blowing through. The first thing I did upon arriving was to strip off my sweatshirt and jeans, and trade them for loose, flowy gaucho pants and flip flops. Ahhh. Combined with the quiet of this place, I feel as if my stress is dissipating and relaxation is replacing it. After going out for dinner and stocking up on supplies at the Super Walmart with the group, I wandered the grounds of the birth center with my camera, taking pictures, feeling the warm of the sun and the coolness of the breeze, and breathing deeply. I stayed out until the sun began to disappear and the mosquitoes began to make a meal of me. I reluctantly headed inside and can hardly wait for morning to come, so I can head back out again. The grounds here are some mix of country farm and tropical gardens. They spread out like a park, with paths leading to nooks, patios, and benches through trees and under the overhangs of the buildings. Herbs grow along the side of the main house, where all the staff live, while hibiscus and an array of other tropical flowers can be found elsewhere on the property. Chickens, cats, and a dog roam around freely between the buildings, which include a clinic, birthing rooms, lodging, a chapel, and various others.

For the first time in awhile, I am in a place of quiet where I’m not fighting the urge to fill it with noise. I am not go, go, going and it is beautiful. I accepted the position at St. Chris today. I can’t say I did it with full confidence that it is exactly right for me, but I feel good about it. The support I’ve received from everyone has been hugely encouraging and after a lot of prayer and talking things through with wise people I know it is the right choice for now.

It has been a very long day on very little sleep, so I’m signing off to read and sleep. The good news is I have my laptop and wireless internet access, so I will do my best to keep you up to date on our time down here. Good to be blogging again!